With the pandemic easing, it’s not difficult to get lulled into thinking that everything is “back to normal,” but the truth is that it’s never going to be “normal” again.  Lately, I’ve been reminded of September 2001, and while the circumstances are very different, I can’t help but think of what it was like to return to the office back then.

In September of 2001, I worked in the 4th tallest building in lower Manhattan (Chase Manhattan Plaza) on the 59th of 60 floors, just three short blocks from the World Trade Center.  We, for obvious reasons, did not go back to the building for weeks.  And because this was 2001, remote work wasn’t really an option, so we eventually had to return to the office. 

But when we did, it wasn’t “normal.”

The building was still there.  All my coworkers were still there.  The computers were in the same place.  The desks, papers, coffee machine – all were still there. 

But it wasn’t “normal.”

The world had changed.  The country had changed.  We had changed.

And we weren’t going back.

We all shared the same look in our eyes.  The one that said, “it could have been us.”  But it wasn’t us.  The truth is, we went home.  We could return to our routines.  But it wasn’t “normal.”

We went to work every day, but now there was a constant feeling of low-level terror.  We were always on edge.  We jumped at loud noises.  We wore shoes that we knew we could run in if we had to.  We made sure that our cells phones were always fully charged.  80% wasn’t good enough.  We looked for the emergency exits and stairways in every single building we entered.  We had daily reminders of what happened as we walked by the site on the way in to work every day.  We saw the deconstruction and reconstruction from conference room windows.  We had different perspectives, different experiences, and different coping mechanisms.  But we shared the trauma. 

We would pretend to not be affected.  We tried to act strong and tough.  But honestly, none of us were ok.  Years later, I realized that it was ok to not be ok.  We went through a big “something.”  We saw the world differently now.  We would forever see certain situations differently.  It wasn’t like some terrible storm that passes, and the risk is over.  This was now a persistent existential threat looming at the back of everyone’s minds.  One that maybe you didn’t see, but that you knew was there.

So, I’m dumbstruck by the current push to “return to normal.”  Sorry, not sorry, but there isn’t a “return to normal.”  “Normal” is gone.  Things can eventually become sustainable or tolerable, and they usually do.  But they can’t ever be what they were.  We don’t have the luxury to pretend that the past year didn’t happen.  That’s not to say that we can’t go back to office buildings, restaurants and theaters, but it is to say that it is not going to be the same.

Heraclitus said, “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.”  It’s as true in 2021 as it was in 544 B.C.

It’s not the same river and we’re not the same men.  To pretend otherwise is ludicrous.

No longer is a cough just a cough or a handshake just a handshake.  Just as a plane flying low is no longer a plane flying low.  The world has changed.  We have changed. 

We can go back to working in offices, but business leaders need to recognize that it is not the same.  The building may be there.  The people may be there.  But it is not the same.

We all have been through “something,” and while we all experienced something different, we all experienced something. You can’t pretend that it didn’t happen.  It has affected us all in some way.  Maybe in unique ways, but we’ve all been shaped by the events of the past year.  We have all changed.  Denying it doesn’t make it disappear or not exist.

So how do business leaders move forward? 

·      By acknowledging what happened.  

·      By being supportive of others’ needs even if they don’t match your own.  To meet people where they are.

·      By having empathy – we all went into 2020 from a different place, we all had a different path through the pandemic, and we are all at a different place now.  

·      By communicating – ask what others need, listen to the answers, don’t make assumptions and refrain from judging the responses.  You aren’t walking anyone else’s path so you can’t know what it is like.  

·      By being willing to make changes that you may not see the need for, but others do.

Because this isn’t about one person getting through it, it’s about all of us getting through it.